Thursday, September 13, 2007
@1:41 PM
First time I'm posting twice in a day. And I don't even know if my blog's skin can support double posts. =/
Watched part of Secret, and skipped recess to watch even more. Haha. All I can say is, I'm jealous. It was quite touching in a few parts, especially the revelation part. But well, not touching enough to make me cry. Although I did want to cry because I was jealous. Why? Its complicated.
But no tears came out.
I guess some things in life do change a person a lot. Maybe I'm immune to sadness already. =/ That kind of sucks. I don't want to feel only happiness or anger. I don't want to be a zombie like one-third of the time. But I can't help it. I'm just stoned.
Well speaking of anger, I just had an outburst in school before I got home. Thing is, Han Yang is a total b*****d. He told me to do the powerpoint presentation for the SS project. Which basically means, I did everything except for the interview. All right, give him some credit. He did do the interview. But the thing is, I did the interview questions, and I specifically told him that one of the questions was meant to be answered in great detail. Yet, when I got the results of the interview, that question's answer was the shortest one. Like WTH. That question was the main point of the project! Yet it gives so little content to work on. So now, the report is a single page long. So anyway, I got really pissed and I went all F-ing around. That makes me angry with him, and with myself. I still can't control my temper.
Anyway, I just realised that I'm partly at fault. Instead of ranting about it, I should have told him to his face. Then maybe problems would be all solved. Bah. I suck at communication. And I wrong to do this? Is this considered as backstabbing? I'm sorry. I'm at fault.
Anyway, today there was a mass CLE. Turns out, the school invited some external lecturers / workshop people, to conduct this "personality" test. Personality in inverted commas because they called it a behavioural test. Turns out, it was just DiSC. Dominating, Inspirational, Steady, Compliant. Turns out I am a Steady and Inspirational person (in order of ranking). Making me a "People Person".
Well, the thing is, its not that I don't agree with the test. I do already know that I'm such a person. It seems that I'm... not qualified to be called such a person. After all, I can't even control my own feelings. Or help myself. (I'm still a bit suicidal.) So how am I supposed to help others? Looking at the situation now, I would probably worsen people's lives if I tried to help. What if it concerns a life? (Don't want to think about it.)
Aww man, I'm feeling dejected. And not to mention depressed. I still am. Not as much though! =)
{♥} by the seaside
